Helping SWAT team officers cop off

Police chiefs in China have set up a matchmaking service for single SWAT-team officers who are too busy to meet partners.

Posters showing photos of the 54 male and female special forces officers sprung up outside a police station in the capital Beijing along with catalogues listing their likes and dislikes.

"About 5,000 people visited the police station when we launched it so it has already been a big success," said a police spokesman.

"Special officers train all the time and have very dangerous, tough duties which leave them no time to socialise.

"And unlike ordinary police they don't meet nice, regular people in the line of duty, just very dangerous criminals," they added.

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Kung fu football school!

Shaolin monks are hoping to improve China's poor football performance with a new training school which combines football with kung fu.

Shi Yanlu, head of the venture at the world famous Shaolin Temple, says he believes the disciplines of kung fu will benefit young footballers.

He has selected 40 young monks to train at the school under the supervision of martial arts experts and former international footballers.

Yanlu said: "Right now, China's football performance is really disappointing. We hope by combining kung fu elements and spirit, Chinese football can perform better."

As well as regular football training, the monks focus on aspects of the martial art, such as balance and leg strength, which will make them better footballers.

"They have superb physical qualities, and they are learning things very quickly. We will try to meld the kung fu into the football training, hopefully improving the level of Chinese football," added Yanlu.

"The kids here all have a spirit of hard-work. We will invite some outstanding coaches to teach them. Hopefully we can have several international football stars of the future here."

The Shaolin Monk Football Training Base is being backed by the China Football Association which has provided equipment, including 1,000 footballs. It now plans to build more pitches for students to play on.

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Spider bite causes four hour erection!

Scientists believe a spider could lead to a breakthrough in sexual health after finding a single bite can cause a four hour erection.

Researchers at the Medical College of Georgia believe the venom of the Brazilian wandering spider could lead to a new cure for erectile dysfunction.

Dr Kenia Nunes, a physiologist at the college, said it works in a different way to Viagra, reports the Daily Mail.

"This is good because we know that some patients don't respond to the conventional therapy. This could be an optional treatment for them," she said.

Her study, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, involved experiments using hypertensive rats with severe erectile dysfunction.

"The toxin was able to normalise the erectile dysfunction in these animals," said Dr Nunes.

However, further research is required. Other side-effects can include loss of muscle control, severe pain, difficulty breathing and death.

Dr Nunes added: "The venom of the Phoneutria nigriventer spider is a very rich mixture of several molecules.

"These molecules are called toxins, and then we have various toxins in this venom with different activity.

"Because of this, when a human is bitten by this spider, we can observe many different symptoms including priapism, a condition in which the penis is continually erect."

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Immigration officer put wife on terror list

An immigration officer was so sick of his wife that he put her on a terrorist watch list - ­so she couldn't get home from Pakistan.

The officer added her name to the register of people banned from flights into the UK while she was visiting family overseas, reports The Mirror.

When she went to the airport to get her return flight back, officials told her she could not board the plane and did not ­explain why.

She called her husband, who ­promised to look into it - but left her stuck in Pakistan for three years while he had the "time of his life".

An immigration source said: "A lot of people may dislike their other halves but to do this takes it to the next level.

"Needless to say she was confused when she got to the airport as she had never been involved in anything criminal or terrorist related.

"She obviously thought her husband, being an immigration officer, would be able to find out what was going on.

"Little did she know it was him who had put her on the list. By all accounts he then had the time of his life."

The officer was caught out when bosses vetted him after he went for a promotion that required him to have a higher level of security clearance.

They realised his wife was on the watch list and asked him for an explanation. ­He had no choice but to confess what he had done - and was fired.

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